This isn’t Red, White, and Blue—It’s Black and White
Friends and family need to become a black and white issues. You are either on my side, or you’re not. Just because I was born in the same house, just because you are my mommy or daddy or uncle or aunt, just because we went to the same school, just because we were friends back when—it doesn’t mean you’re on my team now. You have to be ruthless on this point.
Ruthless is a brutal word. If you look it up in the dictionary, it’s got all negative connotations. I’m telling you, be ruthless when it comes to friends and family. They will take you down if they’re not on your side. A lot of people don’t know whose side they are on. You got people out there—friends and family—who are completely against you. They are against you because they are against themselves.
What do you do in that situation? “Dude, you’re out”. They’ll say, “But I’m your uncle—I helped raise you”. Tell them, “Yeah, but you’re out now. You did a good job raising me, but you’re not doing a good job now—this doesn’t work anymore. Either get on my side, clean up your own life, quit talking bad about me, quit telling me about how my dreams are dumb, quit telling me that I can’t move or leave or do things, because you’re either on my side or you’re not—it’s a black and white issue.”
It’s not about friends and family, it’s about who’re your friends and family now. Can they even be friends to themselves? There are two groups here; one pulling for you and one pulling against. There are those that literally want you to do poorly—which is a very small group of people. That group doesn’t even know that they’ve checked out of the game with their mind. The other group is HUGE and they want you to succeed. Success inspires them to be successful. You are either on my team or you aren’t. The real question is whose team are you on? Do your friends and family even know what team they are on anymore? Are they pulling for you or against you?
Don’t show me the problem, show me the solution. It’s a black and white issue and you have to be ruthless on this line. When I was 25 years old my mom was ruthless enough, smart enough, and loved me enough to say, “Don’t come here anymore.” Black or white. It was crystal clear and I couldn’t cross the line.
I was negotiating this deal recently and the customer suggested to my friend that I had said something to him (the prospect). So my friend called me up and said, “Hey, this guy said you said…” and I told him, “You don’t need to worry about me ever saying anything like that—it’s not how I roll.” You see, when you know you have the right people on your side, they defend you.
You need to write a list of all the people in your life. Make two columns, IN or OUT.
They are either supporting you or not. If I can’t mix business and family, if I can’t lean on them to support me, then they are casual friends. Paddle with me or get off of the boat. But if you are going to pull against me then you’ve got to go. If you got adult children in your house who aren’t doing the right thing, kick them out. Let them grow up. It’s not the kid making a mistake coming home it’s the parent that lets them come home.
If you want to become unbelievably successful in life you will have to make some hard choices in your relationships. Years ago—long before I met Elena—I loved a woman and she loved me, but the problem was we wanted different things. It’s not enough to love somebody—you’ve got to be on the same page. Otherwise, you end up drowning, not quickly but slowly. Cutting a cord is going to hurt either way. If you tell someone that they aren’t allowed in your life until they get their act together, they’ll be enraged. Just do it. Now is better than later.
Get ruthless. Besides getting ruthless in your relationships, get ruthless with your finances. You are either getting rich or you are not. Black or white. If you want to change your condition, you will have to take action. Get on Playbook to Millions today. It’s time to get ruthless with your finances. In addition, I’m having an explosive 4th of July sale at my store right now so today is the day to load up on books, mp3’s, shirts, planners, and even 10X balls.