They said I’m a fanatic and the mission was impossible—here’s how you can overcome the haters just like I did
Doubt is the dream killer. Most people are so filled with doubt they are unable to believe in themselves enough to become obsessed with their own success. Instead they let their fear lead the way.
I believe that your fanatical, all‑in mentality, which everyone has caused you to doubt, is not the problem. Doubt is the problem. Doubt is the most dangerous and insidious form of mental terrorism on this planet. Doubt damages people, organizations, marriages, and dreams. It’s certainly been the biggest problem in my life.
In the late 1990s I got caught up in that major movement in America where it became popular to dig into your past and figure out the cause of your problems. A massive multi-hundred-billion-dollar industry had grown around the idea that Mommy and Daddy gave you either too little attention or too much. The focus became your so‑called dysfunctional family and your search for your “inner child.” Everyone was talking about how broken they were and how their parents had screwed them up. Everything was labeled an addiction and a disease: work, sex, drugs, pets, love—there was even “addiction to addicts.” Because I have always been interested in improving myself, for some time I went to group meetings, attended twelve-step workshops, and sought out counselors who could help me find the cause of my “problems.”
Here is the essence of that industry at the time: Regardless of your label, you were ultimately powerless and you were destined to never get over it. Over the past twenty years this trend has continued. Some people can’t afford to buy a house, but everyone has a counselor, a rent‑a‑friend, who is more likely to talk about how screwed up they are than—heaven forbid—how great they are. I once went to a counselor with my girlfriend and said, “I want to talk about how great I am. I want to talk about how many plus points I have, how many gifts I have. I want to talk about my ambitions and successes.” The counselor immediately recommended a prescription for lithium. Clearly, he thought my obsession was dangerous.
I am describing this so you can understand what you are going against when you commit to your obsession to be successful. When I first began to turn my life around, I was surrounded by a whole industry that told me I was emotionally scarred, powerless, and an addict of every variation. I was told that my obsessive nature was part of my genetic makeup, that I had no control over it and no chance of ever being free. This caused me deep confusion and doubt.
Then one day, while I was attending a men’s weekend workshop, I looked around and realized that none of these guys had anything close to the life I desired. They had been assigning blame to parents and all these other factors outside their “control,” focused on how broken they were, and broken they stayed. None of them were getting better. The leaders of the groups had marriages that were falling apart, and they were struggling with finances. They were obsessed with their problems, while I was obsessed with success. It took me a long time to wake up to this, but eventually I realized you don’t fix problems with problems—you fix them with success.
Today I let myself absorb advice and help only from people who are doing better than me. I believe in the saying “If you are the most successful person in the room, you are in the wrong room.”
Haven’t you tried “self-development” their way long enough? Stop looking at where you’ve been and what happened to you. Make it clear to everyone you are done with assigning blame and with the kind of self-discovery that leaves you powerless. Remind them not to fight your genius but to get behind it. Encourage people to see what you see, sell them on the concept, convince them it’s better, or demand that they get behind and away from you.
Yes, you are fanatical, and yes, the mission is impossible, and yes, you know no one has ever done exactly what you want to do before. But none of those conditions are cause for doubt! Respond with determination and go all in.
Grant Cardone is an American entrepreneur, New York Times best-selling author, speaker, motivator and online sales training expert. Cardone is a respected, highly regarded master salesperson whose passion is to teach people how to sell themselves, their products and services regardless of economic climate. His books, audio packages and seminars provide people of all professional backgrounds with the practical tools necessary to build their own economies towards the path to true freedom.
“Success is your duty, obligation, responsibility.”