The Four Degrees of 10X Fatherhood
Doing nothing is what it sounds like—to no longer take actions to move forward to learn, grow, or achieve something. Signs of doing nothing includes boredom, complacency, lethargy, or a lack of purpose. Those who do nothing in one area of their life often take massive action in another area of life.
For example, the dad who does nothing—never spending time with his kids or not purposefully scheduling anything worthwhile with them may take every weekend to go four-wheeling. On weeknights, he watches TV shows about people on motorcycles and he reads the latest off-roading magazines. He takes massive action in a hobby he is interested in, but for that which doesn’t interest him (fatherhood) he doesn’t lift a finger—even if he’s “there”.
For every man, something gets his attention and energy. If you are doing nothing in one area, it naturally shows that inwardly it’s not a priority or interest to you.
“Retreaters” are people who take actions in reverse, often to avoid negative experiences they imagine might happen by taking action. If you have an attitude of, “there’s nothing I can do,” that would be a retreat. “It would be awkward having a ‘birds and bees’ talk with my 13-year-old son; I’m not going to bother with it”—retreat. “I’m tired of fighting my daughter over this; she can just have her way”—retreat. In short, any realm where you no longer think you can advance and improve, you are retreating.
Another level of action is simply taking normal action. This is the most prevalent around us because it is “average”. This appears to be on the surface “normal” and acceptable to society. Remember, though, average by definition is less than extraordinary. This is the worker that doesn’t stand out from the other workers in the company; the kid who has B’s in school; the husband with the so-so marriage.
Nobody criticizes people operating at normal levels of action because people deem it as “just enough”. Yet if you are doing anything in life in a “just enough” way you aren’t reaching your potential, you are simply doing your duty but putting your energy elsewhere.
The employee who is “average” goes for the pay but his mind is on his other hobbies throughout the day and what he’s going to do on the weekend. He hates Mondays and loves Fridays because his heart isn’t in it. The kid who is average in school probably doesn’t enjoy school that much either. The “normal” dad, likewise, spends an “average” amount of time and effort with his children, which is to say that it’s better than no action and better than a retreater but it’s still not enough. Who reading this wants to be an “average” dad?
The last stage is massive action. Signals that you are taking massive action include having people commenting on your level of activity. If some of those comments come in the form of criticism, it’s because it’s coming from someone who is operating at normal levels of action or less. People who have succeeded at something in a big way know firsthand the level of activity it takes to really become a success in that thing.
Taking massive action can also create new problems for yourself. If you are in business, you’ll find instead of too few customers you might be getting too many and need extra help. If you are taking massive action when it comes to your relationship with your kid, you’ll find that you better understand their needs and wants and you’ll have new goals and new problems to tackle with them.
Remember that everyone operates at these 4 levels of activity in different areas of their lives. You may be taking massive action for your finances while doing nothing for your physique. You can be retreating as a dad while being a normal husband. The point is, if you believe fatherhood is important, you need to be taking massive action as a dad.
Do things with your children and spend time with them. Talk with them and discipline them. Teach them and entertain them. Make them laugh and be their role model. Comfort them and motivate them. None of these things happen without you taking action. There is no passive nature in a 10X Dad. Who will raise your kids? Either you will or they’ll be influenced by others. You have to operate at levels of activity that ensure you are the influencer, the mentor, and the trendsetter.
The 10X Rule states that consistent, determined, disciplined actions are more of a determining factor in creating success than any other factor. The more action you take, the better your chances of succeeding—and this goes with any area of your life, including fatherhood.
I want to wish you a happy Father’s Day and if you want to become a better provider for your household, get my new Playbook to Millions program—it’s designed to build millionaires. The truth is you need millions to create the life you want for your family. It’s expensive raising kids. Get rich!