Why Being an Introvert Sucks – Jerry Fetta
I grew up as an introvert. I didn’t like going outside my comfort zone, I didn’t like asking for things, I didn’t like meeting new people, and I ultimately enjoyed being by myself working on tasks. Sound familiar? I forgot to add, I also didn’t succeed at things that involved other people. Which meant I had to play small time at everything because at some point EVERYTHING was going to involve other people. It is inevitable. Being introverted is a serious problem and in today’s culture we have settled. We have accepted that some people are just “born that way”. I had to learn how to be an extrovert.
Now I want to clarify my position on why being an introvert sucks. Our lives are about interactions and exchanges with others. Think about it. From the moment we were born we immediately had an exchange and an interaction with our parents. We are going to give them purpose and love in exchange for their care and help. If they fail to hold up on their exchange the interaction doesn’t work out and if we fail to hold up our end of the exchange the interaction again doesn’t work out. This exchange is a law of life. Every interaction must have one and without one, we fail to survive and expand.
Now in order to make a meaningful exchange we must know what is wanted by the party we are exchanging with. This requires communication, which means we cannot be introverted. Once we get the information from the other party, we must produce what is required. Once we’ve produced what is required, we must go bring it to the other party and give it to them. This requires communication again, which means we cannot be introverted. The process of exchange requires us to communicate and be extroverted. The exchange cannot happen unless we go outside of ourselves.
Now once we’ve made the exchange, we must keep going. Life is a continual process and this means we must keep making more and more exchanges with more and more people in order to survive. Which means we will continually communicate and extrovert. Failure to do so is failure to survive. Every moment of every day for the 90 or more years we are alive is comprised of various exchanges with different people. Being introverted just doesn’t fit the model of how life works.
So, what do we do about it? For me, it was a few things. I had to mentally get back into present time. A lot of my introversion was caused by me dwelling inside myself on old, stale, and musty memories and experiences. Usually things that had upset me that I hadn’t gotten over yet. So, by getting my mind present and focusing on the future, I had to consciously make the decision to look forward and outward.
I also go people watching. My wife thinks it is creepy but when we grocery shop, I people watch. I just watch other people and realize they are never different than me. They’re not scary, they’re not so unusual that I can’t relate to them, and they are the same as I am. So, by not liking people I am really not liking myself because I am one of them and if you believe in God you are also showing disdain for God because these people you don’t like are made in his image. Hard pill to swallow, right? Try it. Go out and just study people around you. Look for commonalities you have with them. They’re living life just like you are and trying to do the same things you are.
Bottom line, life is a long road filled with things we must exchange with other people in order to get the things we require to survive. If we introvert, those exchanges don’t happen abundantly and we inhibit our own survival. Being an introvert sucks because not thriving sucks. In order to thrive we must interact with others, exchange value with them, and this requires us to go be extroverted.
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Jerry Fetta is a husband, son of Yahweh, Entrepreneur and owner of 5 privately held companies. Jerry lives in Alaska with his wife and 2 dogs. His no-nonsense approach to business, finances, and life speaks truth and provides clarity to his clients and followers. His personal mission in life is to empower millions of leaders to own their God-given, ultimate potential.