My first marriage lasted only 12 months & my second is 13 years strong—this is my advice to you
If you’re married, you know what I’m talking about. There’s some sort of disagreement, some sort of philosophical difference that you one day realize stands between you and your spouse. It could be anything, but for today’s discussion, we’ll take the example of you looking to live a “10X life” and your spouse is basically content and “satisfied” with the way things are. Uh-oh!
Many of you don’t know this, but I was 35 the first time I married, and I was divorced by 36. One year, that’s how long I was able to make it. I’m not bragging about it, I know divorce isn’t good, but I’m not ashamed of it either. It happened. We both quit the marriage long before it officially ended.
The fact was I was wrong for her, and she was wrong for me.
She was happy with $1,000,000. I did the math—and I wasn’t happy to settle. Staying in that marriage would have been suicide for me on a multitude of levels—especially financially. I’m just not a two-kid-two-dog–day-job-white-picket-fence kind of guy.
Now I’ve been married 13 years to Elena, who is 100% on the same page with me, but I still understand how it feels when you aren’t on the same page with your spouse. I know where you are coming from. If I knew then what I know now… this is what I would have done differently:
Putting your head in the sand is never going to make things better. Time does not heal, and time will not magically fix the problem. Get your sword out and confront the beast, the elephant in the room. You never know, you may be able to talk him or her into your point of view just by opening the discussion up again.
Maybe your spouse has a fear of your idea. Ask them, “what’s the worst that could happen if we do this?” Challenge them to move forward with you on it even though they are uncertain. It’s your job also to help remove uncertainty, although there will always likely be some fear of the unknown. Make your thing exciting to your spouse, make it a challenge they want to attack so it’s not just your game, but something you can play together.
Get your spouse around like-minded people who are influencing you. If you are all about 10X, get your spouse to come to 10XGrowthCon where you’ll meet 10X people. If you get your spouse in proximity to new people, this can influence them in new ways that you couldn’t do yourself. Travel, join new clubs, do whatever you need to do to form new relationships with people that you two can together grow in.
A great marriage takes work. For Elena and I, success is our game. Fortifying the rightness in your relationship and not focusing on the 5% of the time when things can come up short is better than striving for that perfect 100%. Strong ethics and ambition brought Elena and me together and is a part of what continues to drive us.
Many spouses came to 10XGrowthCon last year and it was an incredible time for many couples to strengthen their bond and grow their purpose closer together.
“I absolutely love Grant & his family, and mission. I had a net worth of $50,000 when I attended, I took that $50,000 and turned it into a net worth of over $5,000,000. We share our vision and expect greatness. We work together for our common mission which is #familyfirst with Sometimes Spouse. I could not have done it without Elana or Grant.” — Christy Ogle
Take your spouse to 10XGrowthCon 2018.
Grant Cardone is a New York Times bestselling author, the #1 sales trainer in the world, and an internationally renowned speaker on leadership, real estate investing, entrepreneurship, social media, and finance. His 5 privately held companies have annual revenues exceeding $100 million. Forbes named Mr. Cardone #1 of the “25 Marketing Influencers to Watch in 2017”. Grant’s straight-shooting viewpoints on the economy, the middle class, and business have made him a valuable resource for media seeking commentary and insights on real topics that matter. He regularly appears on Fox News, Fox Business, CNBC, and MSNBC, and writes for Forbes, Success Magazine, Business Insider, Entrepreneur.com, and the Huffington Post. He urges his followers and clients to make success their duty, responsibility, and obligation. He currently resides in South Florida with his wife and two daughters.